With gratitude, optimism is sustainable.
MICHAEL J. FOX
September was just the beginning of a few incredibly rough months, and it forced me to listen deeply to my emotional messages. Here’s why I wanted to ‘delete’ September.
This isn’t a pity party; it’s an opportunity to look for the EQ Lessons that kept me afloat and to share them so you can draw on them when faced with similar challenges.
Heartbreak & Empty Nest
In September, we lost our beloved 10-year-oldRidgeback, Macy. Less than a week later, we discovered our 3-year-oldRidgie, Cleo, had acute leukemia, and we lost her on November 17th. After 26years, our home is devoid of fur babies, and our hearts are broken.
The Stress Pile-Up
Adding to the grief were missed flights, lost luggage(forcing me to travel and facilitate in the same clothes for two days!), and the final straw: a total hip replacement in October!
Lesson 1: Transforming Emotion (Navigating Emotions)
My most challenging EQ competency, Navigating Emotions, had to be drawn on constantly. Trying not to vent at the airline staff holding the power to reroute my flights was tough! I had to shift my focus: Anger, frustration, and anxiety had to be transformed into patience and tolerance. Focusing on what I ultimately needed from them helped me transform the negative emotions into more constructive ones.
Lesson 2: The Power of Kindness and Gratitude
The compassion shown by my colleagues, clients, friends, and family was the true lifesaver.
Zambian Clients
My clients in Zambia, Hybrid Poultry, went above and beyond, taking me to purchase new essentials late in the evening and sitting endlessly on the phone to “motivate” airlines to track down my lost luggage.
Small Gestures
The kindness and support after the loss of our dog and my surgery didn’t take the pain away, but they provided comfort, reminding me that I was cared for and not alone.
If I can pick one thing that is helping me navigate this time, it is Gratitude. My friend who cheerfully fetched my dog numerous times and drove us across town to the vet post-op, all while navigating her own challenges, is a constant reminder that when you know you have people in your corner, you can navigate and achieve anything!
Lesson 3: The Overwhelm Mantra (Slow Down, Prioritise, Focus)
In our first collaboration webinar, ‘From Chaos to Clarity,’ with 2 of my EQ colleagues, we looked at untangling emotions, focusing on unpacking the feeling of Overwhelm. The basic tool we shared has supported me hugely through these tough months: Slow down, Prioritize, and Focus on what really matters. This mantra was running constantly in my head. Daily lists helped my rational brain prioritize time and tasks. Crucially, I prioritized spending time with my beautiful dogs while I still could, a non-negotiable emotional priority.
Looking Ahead: Optimism and Intention
As facilitators, we don’t have perfect EQ, but we do have access to tools that support us. We know we need to be smart with our feelings so we can show up with intention, be resilient, and not lose sight of others, which is easy to do when we slip into survival mode.
The other highlight has been our collaboration with my two EQ colleagues. We’ve now run three free webinars, successfully supporting our goal of making EQ accessible. We are excited to start working on our New Year theme: Navigating Change, an essential skill in today’s fast-changing world.
We are also looking forward to celebrating our son’s 21st next week, the fact that he has passed his 2nd year of Sports Science, and our nest refilling for a month or two!
EQ Reminder
Optimism is the belief in positive outcomes.
Gratitude is the appreciation for what you have.
Please keep this in mind: A small act of kindness can change someone’s world. Even in the darkest moments, look for the light, and when you can, be the light!
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