If you tell people they have what it takes to succeed, they’ll prove you right.
CHARLES DUHIGG
Stepping into different boardrooms, workshop spaces, and coaching sessions, balancing parenting at the same time, has given me a front-row seat to human behaviour.
One pattern stands out: Emotional Intelligence has the capacity to bring out the best in others.
Culturally, we have a saying: what you expect is usually what you get. Expect the worst from people, and they will generally deliver it. Expect the best, and the same rule applies. This isn’t just wishful thinking; it’s a scientifically proven psychological phenomenon known as The Rosenthal Effect.
What is the Rosenthal Effect?
The Rosenthal Effect (often called the Pygmalion Effect) shows that our expectations of others directly influence their performance. Simply put, people unconsciously rise or fall to the level of expectation placed upon them.
When leaders, managers, or parents genuinely believe in someone’s potential, they don’t keep it to themselves. They unconsciously communicate that belief through their:
- Tone of voice and body language
- Frequency and quality of feedback
- Types of opportunities they provide
As a result, the individual ‘catches’ that belief, grows in confidence, and performs at a substantially higher level.
Where Emotional Intelligence fits in
High EQ is the bridge that turns this psychological effect into a leadership tool. EQ is our ability to recognize, understand, and manage emotions, both in ourselves and in those we lead.
Leaders with high EQ are acutely aware of the subtle, silent messages they broadcast daily. When positive expectations and high EQ work together, they build a psychological safety net where people feel valued, trusted, capable, and internally motivated to succeed.
Yet, in many traditional corporate environments or homes, we tend to do the exact opposite: we only clock in and notice when performance is poor.
Small Shifts That Make a Big Difference
You don’t need to upend your entire life to change your energy levels. Start with these micro-habits:
- Protect uninterrupted focus time
- Take proper lunch and movement breaks
- Switch off notifications where possible to disconnect after work
- Avoid glorifying ‘the hustle’ and exhaustion as commitment
- Use leave days to genuinely recover
- Ask for support
- Set clear boundaries
- Schedule recovery, particularly after business travel and high stress periods
- Check in with colleagues, not just on performance, but on wellbeing too
REMEMBER
Recovery is not laziness. It is part of sustainable performance.
Healthy, high-performing teams are not the ones who never stop working. They are the ones who know exactly when to pause, recharge, and reconnect.
The Workplace Impact: A Tale of Two Managers
Consider two managers:
Manager A assumes a team member lacks capability and micromanages every task, offering little autonomy. Over time, the employee disengages and loses confidence.
Manager B believes the same team member has the potential to succeed, provides resources, encouragement, and constructive feedback. The employee takes ownership, and grows in engagement, confidence and performance.
Think about your own career. How did you feel when you were micromanaged versus when you were given genuine autonomy and trust? The differentiator wasn’t your skill, it was the leader’s expectation of you.
5 Practical Ways to Apply the Rosenthal Effect Through EQ
1. Check Your Assumptions
Before a one-on-one or a team meeting, pause and ask yourself: “What filters or biases am I holding about this person, and how might they be leaking into my behaviour?” Awareness is always the first step.
2. Communicate Belief
People perform better when they know someone has their back. Even during tough KPI or performance discussions, anchor the conversation in the individual’s core strengths first. (For those of you who have done my leadership strengths exercise, you know exactly how shifting the spotlight to what is right with a person changes the room’s energy.)
3. Provide ‘Stretch’ Opportunities
Real growth happens in the stretch zone. I frequently hear from frustrated corporate professionals who feel stagnant because they aren’t trusted with meaningful challenges. This lack of trust is a fast track to quiet quitting and disengagement.
4. Shift to Developmental Feedback
Focus heavily on forward-looking improvement and learning rather than backward-looking criticism and blame. Statistically, from early childhood, we hear the words ‘no’ and ‘stop it’ far more than words of affirmation.
Fun fact: My very first words as a child were, ‘Don’t touch!’ It just goes to show how early we internalize restrictive messaging!
5. Recognize the Micro-Wins
Don’t wait for the massive, final outcome to offer praise. Celebrate the effort, the strategic pivoting, and the small learning milestones along the way. Celebration creates the psychological dopamine loop that keeps us motivated to push forward.
Questions for Reflection
Take these three questions into your workspace or home:
- What silent expectations am I currently communicating to my team or family?
- Who around me might be performing below their true potential simply because they don’t feel believed in?
- How can I use my EQ to intentionally transition my environment from compliance to a culture of trust and growth?
By combining positive expectations with emotional intelligence, we create spaces where people don’t just show up to do a job, they thrive.