We don’t see things as they are. We see them as we are.
ANAÏS NIN
Have you ever changed lanes on the highway, only to be jolted by a car hooting in your blind spot? You checked your mirrors, but standard mirrors only show you so much.
In leadership, the same rule applies.
We constantly ask ourselves: Am I decisive? Am I supportive? Am I giving enough autonomy? But a gap often exists between how we intend to show up and how others actually experience us.
That gap isn’t a failure, it’s a great opportunity for growth.
When Strengths Cast Shadows
Blind spots are seldom blatant weaknesses. More often, they’re simply our best strengths taken a step too far:
- High Decisiveness can be experienced as impatience or a refusal to listen.
- High Empathy can be experienced as conflict avoidance or a lack of clear boundaries.
- High Detail Focus can be experienced as micromanagement and over-control.
- High Optimism can be experienced as being dismissive of genuine operational risks.
The strength isn’t the problem. The problem is the lack of awareness around the shadow it casts.
The Feedback That Changed My Leadership
Early in my corporate career, I received some feedback that really stung.
My management style was described as ‘soft and nasty’ rather than ‘hard and fair’.
My high empathy made me avoid difficult conversations.
Instead of addressing performance issues early, I worked around underperformers by giving extra work to my top performers because I knew it would get done. Frustration would build internally until I reached a breaking point, causing me to handle the issue more harshly than necessary.
My blind spot was obvious. Avoiding conflict wasn’t being kind to my team. Instead it was being unfair to everyone.
Once I dropped my defensiveness and recognised the pattern, I learned to have tough conversations early. That experience reshaped my entire leadership philosophy …
be hard on standards, and fair on people …
and, in fact, carried over into my personal life as well.
4 Questions to Uncover your Impact
Self-awareness isn’t just knowing your strengths. It’s about understanding your real-time impact. Instead of just asking yourself ‘How do I think I’m doing?’, try asking your team members:
- What is something I do that helps you perform at your best?
- What could I do differently that would make collaborating with me easier?
- What changes in my communication or behaviour when I’m under pressure?
- Is there anything I might not realize about the way I show up?
Feedback isn’t a verdict on who you are as a person. It’s just data about your impact. When you treat it as data, curiosity replaces defensiveness.
Seeing Yourself Through Objective Eyes
While informal feedback helps, an objective, scientifically validated 360-degree assessment provides a clear, anonymous mirror.
Six Seconds SEI 360
Measures how your emotional intelligence competencies are experienced across all levels of your organization and can include personal raters (family and friends).
Leadership Vital Signs (LVS) 360
Evaluates key drivers of leadership effectiveness and team performance through multi-rater stakeholder feedback (available for individual leaders and entire teams).
A Final Reflection
Aristotle famously noted that ‘Knowing yourself is the beginning of all wisdom’. Your blind spots may be obvious to everyone around you right now, but once you become curious enough to look for them, they don’t have to stay hidden.
What are you not seeing about yourself today that could make you an even better leader tomorrow?
If you are ready to explore a customized SEI 360 or Team LVS 360 assessment for yourself or your leadership team, please reach out to start the conversation.