Most powerful is he who has himself in his own power. [SENECA]
As we approach the final quarter of the year, it often feels like time speeds up, leading to the whirlwind that is December. Companies are racing to finish projects, meet deadlines, and handle increased productivity. Families are preparing for the holidays, from hosting guests to tackling the Christmas shopping frenzy. Add in end-of-year school exams and events, and it’s a recipe for stress and pressure.
It can feel like we’re on a treadmill with no off button. I’ve already experienced a few intense weeks, which inspired me to write this newsletter. To not just survive but thrive in this last quarter, we need to start preparing now. Sounds like another task on your to-do list, right? Stick with me through this, and it’ll be worth it.
I often talk about the emotional hijack – maybe because managing emotions is my biggest challenge. Think of the dynamite and its fuse analogy: the longer the fuse, the more tolerant we are and the better we can defuse situations before they escalate. A short fuse means we’re more likely to explode or implode.
Think of electricity. It powers our devices, lights our homes, and keeps us connected. When controlled, it’s incredibly useful, but an uncontrolled surge can be destructive. Our emotions are much the same. Harnessed correctly, they’re a powerful resource. Uncontrolled, they can cause havoc.
Prevention is Better Than Cure
Rather than focusing on how to navigate an emotional hijack, let’s look at how to prevent it. As Josh Freedman says, “To be intelligent in our emotions, we need to use them strategically.” In leadership, reacting impulsively won’t inspire others to follow.
Our best chance to harness our emotions is before our fuse is lit – right now! Picture an escalator. At the bottom, you’re calm and balanced, ready to handle stress and challenges. As stress builds, sleep decreases, diet worsens, and self-care is neglected, you start moving up the escalator towards reactivity. This is the setup stage where you’re more prone to emotional reactions.
Once your fuse is lit or you reach the top of the escalator, it’s hard to go back. Your emotional brain takes over, leading to fight, freeze, or flee responses, often followed by regret. Your rational brain disconnects, leaving you unable to think clearly. Prevention, rather than cure, is key. Stay low on that escalator, and keep your fuse long enough to de-escalate and recharge.
How to Stay Grounded
- Self-Awareness: Recognize when you’re moving up the escalator. This is the “Know yourself” part of the EQ in Action model.
- Intentionality: Take care of yourself to face each day at your best. This is the “Choose yourself” part.
- Purposefulness: Harness your energy to lead with integrity. This is the “Give Yourself” part.
Practical Steps
- Monitor Stress and Emotions: Regularly check in with yourself.
- Improve Sleep Patterns: Aim for better sleep.
- Exercise: It boosts serotonin, the feel-good hormone.
- Engage in Hobbies: Do what you love.
- Nurture Spiritual and Emotional Wellbeing: Spend time on inner growth.
- Avoid Destructive Behaviors: Be mindful of negative patterns.
- Spend Time with Loved Ones: Prioritize relationships.
- Eat Healthily: Maintain a balanced diet.
- Use Time Management Techniques: Delegate tasks.
- Set Boundaries: Keep firm boundaries.
- Have Fun: Make time for joy.
In conclusion …
By taking these steps, you can shift into a renewal phase, moving down the escalator to restore your vitality. According to Boyatzis and McKee, “leaders must build in a practice of renewal, much like athletes make time to recover”.
Take care of yourself to face each day at your best. Show up as you intend, and remember to be kind to yourself. Put on your own oxygen mask first before helping others.
Stay strong and thrive.